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How to win the dating game
“Are you someone who fears being rejected?” “Do you get worried about putting yourself out there in the dating game?” “Does meeting someone new create fear and panic?”
“Are you guilty of making bad mistakes in the dating game?” “Do you get down about the lack of good ones out there to date?” The whole process of dating can be a very scary time as you try to make a good first impression on someone, without trying too hard to please. There can be plenty of games, mixed messages, heartbreak and confusion. For many, they just give up and put their dating on hold as they try to avoid more moments of embarrassment and pain. Well, dating is a game that everyone needs to play to get the person they want. It can be a tricky process, but there are also some key tips to winning at this game. Follow these and you’ll find yourself having fun rather than dreading the outcome.
5 tips to winning at the dating game include the following:
1) Consider dating as a process of elimination If you’re going to win at the dating game then you cannot take things personally. This means that you need to look at it as a process of elimination NOT rejection. Treat it like trying on clothes, if something doesn’t fit, put it back and go to the next store.
2) Create new dating rules We can all be guilty of doing silly things that hold us back in the dating game. It may be that we ring too often, talk about the future too early on, have sex too soon, push to meet their family and friends. Whatever the problem behaviours – stop them. Create some new rules about how you’re going to act (e.g. no sex for 1 month, only text twice per day, no talk of feelings too early on etc.)
3) Have a positive outlook How many times do single people put themselves down in front of potential partners and carry around a negative attitude. Enough! When you’re out on a date, or if anyone ever asks you about your love life and being single –get positive. Build yourself up with positive statements and tell people “I’m waiting for someone to inspire me!”
4) Know when to stay and when to go Being in the dating game means that you constantly have to weigh up whether to stay or cut ties with your date. Do you give it more time or do you run? Well, have a look at the way you feel, how you act and what you think about this person. If it’s not all positive, and you don’t know where you stand – then get out of there.
5) Deal with the setbacks We can all have bad dating experiences. These can bring on pain and heartache, and can knock you off your feet. It’s vital then that you can deal with the setbacks. When one occurs, get a friend to help you work through this. Whatever negative you attach to the experience – challenge it by asking yourself – “How can I look at this differently?”, “What’s another way of viewing this?” and “What advice would I give my best friend if they experienced this?”
How to know if a guy likes you
“Ever wondered whether he thinks about you when you’re not around?” “Does he make an extra effort when he’s getting ready to meet up with you?”
“What does he say about you to his friends?” “Can he see himself with you in the future?” When you first meet a guy there can be lots of flirting and chemistry that make the experience one to remember. Of course, as you go away from this meeting you’re left to wonder if he likes you and if he felt the same way about the whole experience? You go over the conversation you had with him in your mind in great detail, you talk to your friends, and you go to bed at night and fantasize about future meetings together. However, what you don’t know is “Does he really like me?” Then you start to date him, and you this question grows larger in your mind as you want to take it further and you’re not sure where he stands.
The key to knowing if a guy likes you is to answer ‘yes’ on all 5 key questions:
Question One: Does he chase you? If the answer is ‘yes’ – then you’ll expect to see him ringing or texting you, sending you emails, and going out of his way to catch-up with you. He’ll drop things that he had planned so he can fit in with you, and he’ll be prepared to experience new things just to spend more time with you.
Two: Is he reliable? If the answer is ‘yes’ – then expect to see him do things that he says he’ll do. That means he’ll be punctual, he’ll ring/ text/ or email when he says he’s going to, and he’ll follow through with plans. As well, if anything goes wrong and something gets in the way, he’ll say sorry, make it up to you, and make sure it won’t happened again.
Three: Can he compliment you? If the answer is ‘yes’ -then expect him to notice you and give you lots of compliments. This means he’ll praise you for such things as the way you look, choice of restaurants, movies, your friends and the way you smell.
Four: Has he let you meet his friends? If the answer is ‘yes’ – then expect him to be comfortable about you hanging around more with his social network and being more involved in his life. He enjoys your personality, he feels comfortable letting you talk with his friends, and he sees a future with you.
Five: Can he hold off on sex? If the answer is ‘yes’ – then expect him to put no pressure on getting you into bed. Instead, he’s thinking long-term, and wants to get to know you. This allows you both to relax and enjoy each other, and it rules out him just being another player trying to score.
How to avoid Unavailable guys
In the world of dating, you’ll often come across different types of guys that may or may not meet your needs. In the early stages they can sweep you off your feet and seem perfect on all fronts. But then as time marches on you start to see their flaws. It might be that you’re not sexual compatible with them, they have toxic friends, they constantly run late and break promises, or they lie and are difficult to trust.
Well add into this mix the guy who is unavailable. He may seem like someone who can be tamed and changed, but when it comes down to it – he won’t commit.
The 5 types of unavailable guys you need to avoid include the following:
1) Married or attached: These attached guys can be very hard to resist. They already come with a stamp of approval from their current wife or girlfriend. They might offer you hot sex, gifts, secret week-ends away, and make you plenty of promises of happily ever after. However they don’t leave their partners, and you’ll end up waiting around and wasting your life for them.
2) 2) Broken and Damaged: This guy carries a truckload of issues around with him from his past. He’s a broken puppy that needs to be looked after. He’ll tell you that he’s not looking for anything serious, that he’s still heartbroken, he can’t commit or that he’s bad at relationships. He’ll constantly talk about his pain from the past as well as his current day issues. He wants a mother not a lover, and he’s not settling down any time soon.
3) 3) Party animal: This guy’s charismatic, funny, the center of attention at parties, and a risk taker. He loves to do things to the extreme – like drinking, drugs, gambling, and sex – and he never turns down a challenge. He’s intoxicating and fun to be around, and he has no goals or plans for the future. He’s not looking for commitment – he just wants fun and immediate gratification.
4) 4) Too young or too old: This guy can fall into two categories. He may be much younger than you – fit and healthy, athletic, virile and energetic. He has a lust for life, is curious about the world and wants to experience any new opportunities. He’s all about the here and now, and has no intention of settling down. On the other hand, he may be much older than you, a mature guy who’s experienced, accomplished, well connected and financially secure. He’s had his fair share of relationships and doesn’t want to get tied down into another one. Both of them can offer positives, but they aren’t on the same page when it comes to commitment.
5) 5) Workaholic: This guy is consumed by his career and is focused on building his empire at the expense of everything else. He works 7 days a week, constantly talks and thinks about his career, runs late and breaks promises, and puts his cell phone and computer ahead of everything else. He has a bad habit of missing important events and social occasions and business travel can mean he’s away more often than not. He thinks he can juggle work and an intimate relationship, but in the end his career is his only real commitment.